How NOT to be a Loser (i.e. how to be a Winner and a Leader)

As we covered How to be a Loser yesterday, here are some steps to ensuring you’re a winner.

Where are you going?

Where are you going?

How to be a Winner – 5 Simple Steps

1. Be Honest with yourself

  • Stop comparing yourself with others who are worse off than you are in order to make yourself feel better.
  • Compare yourself to where you want to be and to your authentic self.
  • Do not settle for anything less than your true potential. Be yourself, everyone else is taken.

2. Adopt the language of winners

  • “I know I have the answer; I know that I haven’t even come close to my true potential or what I am capable of and I am taking action right now to change this.”
  • Give up saying “I don’t know” and realise that there is always a way.
  • “I’ll do it” – give up the battle cry of wimps: “I’ll try.”
  • Raise your standards!  Commit to making progress on your dreams.

3. Know and use your drives to transform your life

  • Give up the ‘drugs’ that demotivate and shelter us from the fantastic reality there is.
  • Find the triggers that drive us to take immediate action – music, thoughts, activities.
  • Everyone has tools that get us to tap our true potential so that we can make our lives the masterpieces we deserve.
  • We don’t find this drive when we are sedating ourselves with drugs and distractions and in this state we deceive ourselves by saying that things are ok.
  • No one wants a life which is ok, however many people settle for this through a fear of disappointment.
  • Don’t be one of the many who talk, be one of the few who lives life at its peak.
  • When looking at your drives, remember to create balance.  Ask yourself, “Is this a consistent pattern (habit) or simply a way to relax?” Most importantly, “Am I making progress on my dreams?”

4. Give up Martyrdom; take care of yourself so that you have more to give others

  • All to often our initial great intentions to do the right thing become twisted into behaviours that are destructive.  We justify this behaviour with the warped logic that we are doing for others when in reality we are only serving ourselves in the satisfaction of our own needs.
  • Helping others to your own detriment is not the goal – nor is selfishness and the difference is easily measured: Those who are selfless contributors – true leaders and winners – don’t moan about how much they’ve done for you or how difficult their lives are because of all they have given you.  This is the favourite whine of the martyr.
  • Take care of yourself so that you have the power to take care of others.
  • Build your inner strength so you have the capability to contribute more to all those you have the privilege to touch.

5. Be Responsible

  • Be truly responsible.
  • Martyrs blame others and ‘closet martyrs’ use phrases such as “I’m sorry this happened, I take full responsibility.”
  • If you are truly responsible, you must act; do something to make it better immediately and come up with a plan with integrity and focus.

 

I picked up these tips when I was at Anthony Robbin’s Life Mastery a number of years ago and in their simplicity, I really enjoy these guides.  I have to say that with what I now know about the ‘law of the one and the many’ and the concepts of philosophers such as Anaximander and Heraclitus, I feel these ideas could be more balanced, however they’re still a good start at helping us identify where we are and what we’re doing.

What are your thoughts on these ideas?

Remember, everything is either a warning or an example; do you have other ideas to add to help guide people or warn them? What are your red flags in yourself or others?

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